Because Of You - the reason behind my theme tune

I always wondered why I was drawn to this song as a background for my blog. Yes I like the tune, yes I think Kelly Clarkson is an amazing singer and songwriter. Today it finally hit me. The words sum up my feelings about my illnesses. So here goes......read them, and listen to them at the same time if you want. (You'll need to turn the speakers up).

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
And I will not let myself Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way To never let it get that far
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me But everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out I can not cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh Everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me But everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I watched you die(I watched you die)
I heard you cry Every night in your sleep(In your sleep)
I was so young(I was so young)
You should have known better than to lean on me(On me)
You never thought of anyone else(You never saw me)
You just saw your pain And I cry in the middle of the nightFor the same damn thing

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of youI don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of youI am afraid
Because of you, ooh
Because of you, ooh, ooh

So now you, and I know......good innit!

Anyway, pain rules the day, sofa and dvd's are calling.

So off with my "v" pillow I trudge to the inner sanctum of my non smoking living room, to watch pre recorded tv shows and await the phone call to say company is on it's way.

Healing hugs for all, and maybe some for me too.

Whisky

xx