Overhearing Things Makes Me Paranoid

At work on Wednesday I overheard a conversation. It's not exactly difficult to overhear as all there is between us is a blue separating board. Four people, having a normal conversation, one that soon went to "toilet talk". It started off quite innocently, saying how men miss their aim etc etc. Then it went further. Before I type this, I want to make it clear, that I didn't hear the full conversation as I was on the phone and keying orders. I don't know the exact context of the conversation. It could have been while they were out, in pubs, in town, in clubs, or, it could have been at work.

It basically went along the lines of the smell people leave behind after their natural ablutions. Yes I know, not a lovely subject o blog about, but not a lovely subject to listen to either! It continued saying that if it's your own smell it's not so bad, you don't notice it. Then it went to walking into a cubicle after someone else had "been". Then came the crunch line. Someone said, Even if people are on medication there is no excuse to leave THAT kind of smell behind!

My brain automatically directed that conversation at me. I re iterate here, that it could well have been about no one in particular, but I took it personally. Now I am back at work, I try to always use the disabled toilet downstairs where no one else goes. But on the odd occasion I HAVE to use the upstairs toilet, I spray my special ostomy deodorant as much as I can. I know the scent I leave behind is offensive. It's even offensive to me, and I have to live with it!!!

If that conversation wasn't directed at me then fair enough. If it was.......I'm sorry if the illness I have meant I had to have an ileostomy bag, which I have no control over which leaves an offensive smell when I "go to the toilet". The fact that had I not had said ileostomy bag I would be dead, of course counts for nothing. If people have a problem with the smell I occasionally leave behind, through no fault of my own. Talk to me! Tell me. I'll agree with you, and explain why I cannot control it. Explain to you that unless you have eaten a dodgy curry you have the option of waiting until you get home, which was also mentioned!

I cannot do that. Unless you want me to float on the ceiling while trying to key orders, occasionally I have to use the toilet to prevent this. I get wind as well you know!!!!!!!!! You can "botty burp" discreetly. I have to place a hand over my tummy hoping no one will hear the squeaks and gurgles I can't control. You'll normally hear me say...."Oh no here we go" and try and sing as loudly as possible to cover my tracks.

I was fuming. SO much so, that I ended up with tears streaming down my face as I told Supervisor S. The Gentleman wanted to go and have a word.....nooooooo. I don't like confrontation! If anyone will talk to them it will be me, gently throwing into the conversation when I feel ready.

Strangely though, two of the people concerned in the conversation have been unusually nice! One talking to me when she wouldn't normally, the other, after me mentioning I felt as if I had a cold coming on, was almost on her knee's praying I didnt. Saying she hoped so much I didn't end up with a cold, calling me Babe. Hmmmmm methinks a quiet word has already been had.

All I can say is, thank goodness for the disabled toilet. I can go in there, with no fear of anyone going in after me. I spray my blackcurrant spray twenty times exactly. The next time I go in there the smell of blackcurrants fills the air :)

I have even started just taking my spray with me, just in case people think I am going in their for other reasons, like a crafty cigarette, which I would NEVER do! But, I know other people have, I have smelt it! The smoke detector obviously is fake LOL. The only reason I will take my handbag is if I need "other things", that I cant fit up my sleeve, if I am wearing a short sleeved tee shirt LOL LOL LOL.

I'm still angry about it now. I never use the toilet at my In Laws for that exact reason. But soon they will have three toilets, so it will be fine. If I go to Sis In Laws I leave the window open, and spray furiously. If I'm at home, I live with it. Thankfully so does hubby.....but then again, he's in competition with me anyway :)

We have automatic air fresheners on the landing just to cover my tracks.

Just remember. My bag gave me life. If it wasn't for that, I would have died fourteen years ago. I had the option. Have the bag, or don't. They gave me that option. That chance to give up then, and I didn't. One thing I will not do is give up. (as you may have noticed by the length of this post!).

I'll just keep slapping on the perfume, and love the comments I keep getting that I smell nice. Angel perfume is my rock, my crutch, my cover up, and I adore it!

For now, sorry to ramble, sorry to go on and on and on.

Love and hugs

Whisky

xxxxx