Update

Yes I'm still here! Just working hard at work with not much time to play........well not too much anyway.

I have discovered that I can do a good impression of Dancing On Ice using my office chair....I just need to remember to check no one is in my way in case I poke their eye out on the triple axle :)

Sorry Sis In Law.....I'd already crashed when you rang, then woke up, then couldn't get back to sleep again. All is well.

Off to France tomorrow for some more essential supplies. Crisps, ravioli, energy drinks and rhubarb jam :)

Posting from work before I start, so I really can't type too much just in case :)

One worn out hardworking girl clocking in.

Hugs and Love

Whisky

xxxxx

Overhearing Things Makes Me Paranoid

At work on Wednesday I overheard a conversation. It's not exactly difficult to overhear as all there is between us is a blue separating board. Four people, having a normal conversation, one that soon went to "toilet talk". It started off quite innocently, saying how men miss their aim etc etc. Then it went further. Before I type this, I want to make it clear, that I didn't hear the full conversation as I was on the phone and keying orders. I don't know the exact context of the conversation. It could have been while they were out, in pubs, in town, in clubs, or, it could have been at work.

It basically went along the lines of the smell people leave behind after their natural ablutions. Yes I know, not a lovely subject o blog about, but not a lovely subject to listen to either! It continued saying that if it's your own smell it's not so bad, you don't notice it. Then it went to walking into a cubicle after someone else had "been". Then came the crunch line. Someone said, Even if people are on medication there is no excuse to leave THAT kind of smell behind!

My brain automatically directed that conversation at me. I re iterate here, that it could well have been about no one in particular, but I took it personally. Now I am back at work, I try to always use the disabled toilet downstairs where no one else goes. But on the odd occasion I HAVE to use the upstairs toilet, I spray my special ostomy deodorant as much as I can. I know the scent I leave behind is offensive. It's even offensive to me, and I have to live with it!!!

If that conversation wasn't directed at me then fair enough. If it was.......I'm sorry if the illness I have meant I had to have an ileostomy bag, which I have no control over which leaves an offensive smell when I "go to the toilet". The fact that had I not had said ileostomy bag I would be dead, of course counts for nothing. If people have a problem with the smell I occasionally leave behind, through no fault of my own. Talk to me! Tell me. I'll agree with you, and explain why I cannot control it. Explain to you that unless you have eaten a dodgy curry you have the option of waiting until you get home, which was also mentioned!

I cannot do that. Unless you want me to float on the ceiling while trying to key orders, occasionally I have to use the toilet to prevent this. I get wind as well you know!!!!!!!!! You can "botty burp" discreetly. I have to place a hand over my tummy hoping no one will hear the squeaks and gurgles I can't control. You'll normally hear me say...."Oh no here we go" and try and sing as loudly as possible to cover my tracks.

I was fuming. SO much so, that I ended up with tears streaming down my face as I told Supervisor S. The Gentleman wanted to go and have a word.....nooooooo. I don't like confrontation! If anyone will talk to them it will be me, gently throwing into the conversation when I feel ready.

Strangely though, two of the people concerned in the conversation have been unusually nice! One talking to me when she wouldn't normally, the other, after me mentioning I felt as if I had a cold coming on, was almost on her knee's praying I didnt. Saying she hoped so much I didn't end up with a cold, calling me Babe. Hmmmmm methinks a quiet word has already been had.

All I can say is, thank goodness for the disabled toilet. I can go in there, with no fear of anyone going in after me. I spray my blackcurrant spray twenty times exactly. The next time I go in there the smell of blackcurrants fills the air :)

I have even started just taking my spray with me, just in case people think I am going in their for other reasons, like a crafty cigarette, which I would NEVER do! But, I know other people have, I have smelt it! The smoke detector obviously is fake LOL. The only reason I will take my handbag is if I need "other things", that I cant fit up my sleeve, if I am wearing a short sleeved tee shirt LOL LOL LOL.

I'm still angry about it now. I never use the toilet at my In Laws for that exact reason. But soon they will have three toilets, so it will be fine. If I go to Sis In Laws I leave the window open, and spray furiously. If I'm at home, I live with it. Thankfully so does hubby.....but then again, he's in competition with me anyway :)

We have automatic air fresheners on the landing just to cover my tracks.

Just remember. My bag gave me life. If it wasn't for that, I would have died fourteen years ago. I had the option. Have the bag, or don't. They gave me that option. That chance to give up then, and I didn't. One thing I will not do is give up. (as you may have noticed by the length of this post!).

I'll just keep slapping on the perfume, and love the comments I keep getting that I smell nice. Angel perfume is my rock, my crutch, my cover up, and I adore it!

For now, sorry to ramble, sorry to go on and on and on.

Love and hugs

Whisky

xxxxx

Where Does The Time Go?!

I Can't believe it's so long since I last blogged! What with work, Avon, hubby home at the weekends and trying to sleep I just haven't had the chance.

I found out yesterday that The Gentleman has read a bit of the blog :) The only remark I got was "You really are crazy!" Hehehehehehe. I'm glad I didn't annoy him or offend him. Next time....leave a comment ;0

Work is still going really well. I ad my review yesterday, and as from next week I will have reached my goal. Working three full days, hopefully for eternity. I am still in shock that work took me back, never mind realised that I wouldn't be able to manage physically with five full days so agreed to three. It's like a dream come true. It helps me admit defeat that I can't work full time, but at the same time lets me feel as if I am in control by working three days.

The hubby being away business is really starting to kick in now. At the weekends all he wants to do, quite rightly, is to stay in and not do much. He has things to do for work like expenses, and the house accounts. But it's almost getting to the point where I feel guilty for asking to go somewhere with him on a Saturday or Sunday. Never mind mention we might have visitors, or I have been invited here or there.

I understand that he spends all week away, working during the days, eating in a pub or a hotel restaurant, then cooped up in a hotel room. I understand that he might not want to go out for a meal when he get's home. But when it means that I can't do things I would like to do, or see people I would like to see......it really annoys me. Especially when he makes me feel as if it is me who is in the wrong!

As an example, I wanted to go ice skating for my birthday, that was three weeks ago. When I suggested it he was all for it. It will be fun! Now, he just doesn't want to know :(

So for now, I'll put up with sitting in the house at the weekend, trying not to act pi**** off while he sits on his lap top working. Going for yet another lie down, as I feel that even playing my Nintendo is annoying him.

Roll on June/July when hopefully this routine will be over? But who knows, maybe there will be a whole new "plan" of works. More weeks away. I've decided, if there is, I will borrow his sat nav, and go off on my own travels. I can't let him restrict me now that I have my health, and freedom back. For all I know, these things that aren't happening now, might have to be delayed due to me being ill again. So, I intend to give it a few weeks, then take control.

I've had to let Sunray Child down because of him. I hate letting my friends down. I know she will forgive me, but I know she too will be disappointed. It's funny. He can organise a trip to France for next weekend to do a cigarette run......but let me see one of my best friends....no. So watch out Sunray Child. In a few weeks I might just ring you when I am halfway to you, and ask you to put a mug of milk in the microwave :)

I don't know, I come back to blogging and become a misery guts!

I'll stew for a few days.

Love and hugs

Whisky

xxxxx

A Big Fat Zero

I got reviewed by the gals at So Many Blogs So Little Time and I got a big fat zero.

I could use excuses, like they caught me the day I had put up my Self Portrait Challenge Pictures, in a rush before work. But I won't. I've been reading their reviews since they began, and I can honestly say, they review as they see. I have a regular internet routine. Sign on, check e mails, then read my regular blogs, and then read their site. Yes, I've been checking the waiting review list to see mine creeping up the list. And yes I knew it was due for review.

Am I the sort of person to try and be something I'm not for such an occasion, no. I won't cover my ass by doing an appropriate post "just in case" they pop by. What they saw was me, my blog, as it always is. Messy, filled with random sized pictures, and random waffle from me. My template, I like it. I gues my name WhiskyMinx, indicates a whisky guzzling little devil. Yes I have a shot of whisky everynight before I go to sleep, but that's it. I adore pink and purple, and love cute things. I found a free template site, chose one I liked and adopted it.

I should've tried to draw little devil horns on the girls head.....but I don't know how to! LOL.

Anyway, I wanted to thank the Gals for their review, and comments. It was fun :) I won't be abandoning the site. I don't do the wait for the review then disappear thing. If there's one thing I am, it's loyal.

Yesterday at work was ermmmm, hectic. Busy busy with hitches that caused Supervisor S to nearly pull her hair out bless her. The Gentleman came back from his training, I nearly hugged him with joy, but I realised he might think I was crazier than he thought. Speaking of The Gentleman. I'm still waiting nervously for him to acknowledge he has read the blog, and leave me a comment. I'm scared!!!!

Home, and I settled down on the sofa to watch a dvd. My sister gave us some dvd's of my niece in her shows. I managed to watch her solo in Fame, went to watch it again last night, and the disk is dodgy! So, I settled down to watch Disco Inferno. She plays the lead lady in that as well. As it's based in the 70's she sings some songs of the era. Most of which are songs I used to sing when I was in the band! How weird it is to see my nineteen year old niece, looking uncannily like me, singing the songs I used to sing, sounding uncannily like me too!

It's like I'm recapturing my youth through her career! She has one very strong advantage over me. Her health! What she is pursuing now, I did. She will I'm sure, get a brilliant career, I tried, and failed. It's difficult to sing with a band, act in shows, and audition for things, when you never know when you might need the toilet.

Yes my band folded. My health deteriorated. I have had umpteen chances of singing with bands, or singing solo. But.....I never knew when I might end up in the hospital again, or be stuck in bed. What sort of agent would want someone like that?

I'm not jealous of her. I'm jealous of me. I still have my voice, and possibly my looks. I could still do it. But like everything else in my life, I cant commit. For Gawds sake, I can't even have my dream of a real dog due to my health. I can't have things I want due to this damned disease. That's my only criticism of it right now. I'm in remission, I can work. I love it. Can I do much else, can I boomerangs.

Oh no, Whisky is going off on a rant.

Time to go watch some more pre recorded Supernatural.

Hugs and love

Whisky

xxxxxx

SPC Tools Week 2. The Eyes

I had so much fun doing this challenge, but, it only fell into place last night at 10pm. I had used one of the tools listed on the site to create a picture, couldn't work out how to save it, so, I took a picture with my mobile phone of the screen. Then, I found out I could use so many different tools on my phone it is unbelievable!

I stuck to just using one, so I can use the rest for future weeks.

I adore this picture, I created it from nothing, and it looks so peaceful.

Apart from the cursor in the picture, d'ooohhhh!

I played around with it, and came up with these.







But my favourite is.......

It's stating the obvious, but I love it.

I hope you enjoyed my creations, using the simplest of tools. My phone.

You can see more Self Portrait Challenges here.

I had a visitor stay with me last night. Another family bereavement meant my Sister and her family made a trip to see us, and my 19 year old Niece stayed with me for the night. By the time we got home she was exhausted and went straight to bed. But having Take That, Robbie Williams, stage school and Drama training in common, made for lots of conversation this morning. She is carrying on with what I would have done had my health not interfered, and I wish her all the best. She is determined to fight hard to get the place she wants at University, and I'm sure her talent and determination will win her a place.

The Gentleman from work had forgotten the link to the blog, so I gave it to him yesterday. Don't forget to read last weeks! I wrote a whole post for you!

Life goes on, hubby is away and working too hard as always..

For now.......

Love and hugs

Whisky

xxxxx

Specs Appeal!

Yayyyyy! I got my new specs. Two lovely pairs of pink and purple glasses. One with circles on the arms, and one with diamante's! Everyone, so far, has agreed they suit me :) And, I can see better, which I guess is the whole point.....d'ohhh.

Friday's visit to Clever Crafting Friend was wonderful. I finally gave her her belated birthday presents, and she loved them. I'm glad I took the time to find the little present that was in the card :)

Hubby home, chinese for dinner, snuggle and bed. Then Saturday, collect glasses yessssss! Then collect Whisky's new car!!! Yessssss! I drove it from the garage to Sis In Law's. Noticing on the way out that someone was already looking at my ickle purple car! Panniccc!

Little Miss Pink and Little Miss Purple had their snuggles, and we played just for a few minutes. Dangly earrings prove that someone is growing up fast. I just feel honoured to be able to share a little part in their growing older :)

Over to Mum and Dad's to show them my new bright red shiny car. Back home, and exhausted. I had a lie down, back down in time for Dancing On Ice, which I didn't even watch. Dinner, more snuggles, and a late night for me.

A sound woke me up at 4am. To me it sounded exactly like the lock being put down on the front door. I came downstairs as bold as brass in only my underwear to check for burglars. Nothing. Wide awake I had a cold drink and a cigarette, then back up to bed, wondering exactly what I would have done if there was a burglar. Hubby would of course have slept through it. Would I have hit the panic alarm by the front door? Would I have picked up the nearest heavy object as a weapon, or would I have run upstairs howling like a banshee!

No doubt, on seeing me, the burglar would have been the one howling like a banshee as he was running down the street! After all, I do tend to look a little like medusa when I first wake up.

Awake, breakfast, and hubby is on the phone to Mr Bleach trying to sort out our joint holiday. We will do it! I am determined to be lying on a beach with Sis In Law, cocktail in hand, as the "boys" entertain the girls by building intricate sandcastles. I have visions of hubby doing the simplest blob of sand and saying it is a work of art, while his brother is desperately trying to get the sand out of the sandcastles doorway, as it looks like dust! Oh joy. We are going to have a blast.

One rule while we are away! No hand held vacuum cleaners allowed!!!!

Here's to the beginning of another week. One where we don't know what it will bring. Hopefully happiness and smiles :)

Love to all.

Hugs

Whisky

xxxxx

He He He I Got The Finger :)

I got reviewed over at Ask And You Shall Receive Please excuse their html wording! Well I asked, and I received. I got the burning finger, which basically means......my blog, to them, is crappy.

Sorry I wasn't an attractive man you could lust over :( and yes, I know my posts are loooooong, and some may thing boring. And I'm sorry my template didn't load in firefox, and that you think the girl on it is freaky.....wait why am I apologising? You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time :)

But thankyou for not cleaning out the fridge and doing the review!

Anyway, back to the long boring posts.

Work yesterday was manniiiiic! I got the edi's, and the orders were rolling in, until the sales meeting all was just about ok, but then we lost some time and it was hard to catch up. We all pulled together and got it done. Wooohooo.

Oh yes, and I opened my trap and gave K the link to my blog. K, if you read this, please, please, remember it's me. The real me, not the sometimes snappy when stressed nutter you see at work. Please, please, there are things on here that are mentioned about work. Please remember, the last two years have been hard for me. I was close to losing it completely. My sanity, and my will to live. The thought that work might not have me back played on my mind constantly. The thought that when I went on my "secret", but recommended by my surgeon, and the disability rights comission holiday I condstantly thought people were watching or recording me freaks me out. I even thought that the night we sat next to a woman who was alone on holiday, that she was a private detective employed by work to see what I was up to. Please, don't hold my holiday against me before my return to work. Remember the photo I showed you of me and hubby on my phone? You asked when ti was taken. I fibbed and said it was three years ago in Tenerife. It wasn't. It was on my secret holiday. I'm sorry for lieing to you! Please forgive me.

The fact that while I was away I couldn't walk out of the apartment for three days due to injuring my back was probably my commeuppance for being on that holiday.

It got me walking, it got me sitting on a chair, it got me used to being in crowds of people. If it wasn't for that holiday, I wouldn't be able to walk/run around the office now without a limp. Sit on my chair. Or even be within a group of four people without being terrified.

I may come accross as confident. But belive me, I have more fears than you would believe.

I love my blog, and the people who read it. It's kept me sane for the last nearly two years. A place I can say whatever I like without fear of repercussion. I would love it if you become a regular reader, and leave comments too. But be warned, this is the real me. Complete with anger, tears, problems, milky coffee's and road rage.

K, I still have to think of a nickname for you. But right now I'm thinking The Gentleman. Because that is exactly what you are. A gentle man. Kind, caring, and most of all, and don't let anyone else tell you any different. Hard working. I remember the comment you made "some people think I don't do much". I don't know who or what gave you that idea. You have a job to do, you do it, and you do it well. NEVER let anyone else tell you otherwise. I hope you stay, I enjoy working with you, I am grateful that if I am stuck you will help me out. I love rolling over to your desk for our little chats. You truly are, and are now rechristened "The gentleman".

What did that review site say about long posts!

Last night I got home, I fell asleep on the sofa, and only woke up because although I still had tummy ache, I was hungry. All I could face eating was a pot noodle, and I had just boiled the kettle when hubby rang. It was only 8 oclock, but I felt as if it was 2 in the morning I was so tired. We chatted about each others days, and said our "miss you's, love you's, sleep wells" over and over.

I ate my mangled noodles, watched pre recorded Supernatural to drool over Jensen Ackles. Yes, I adore good looking men, but I would never stray!!!

I crawled up to bed at 10pm, and slept straight through until 9am. Up, breakfast, milky coffee and off for my eye test.

I had already chosen one set of frames, purple of course, with diamantes on the arms, when they said they had lost them I chose another pair. They then found the first pair, and told me if I bought the first pair I would get the second free. Two matching glass cases later I went in for my test.

The good news, my eyes haven't deteriorated much, the bad news, it's enough for me to have to wear glasses all of the time. But at least they will be pink and purple!!!

I can collect them tomorrow!! Woooohoooooo! A new car and two new pairs of glasses in one day. What more could a girl ask for.

Apart from her hubby being home giving her the biggest snuggle ever of course.

I'm off too see Clever Crafting Friend soon. I still feel so guilty that I couldn't give her her presents on time, or even on the day she came to see me. I hope she'll forgive me. I'm sure she'll understand.

Time to go. Could this be the longest post yet?

One final thing. K, The Gentleman, feel free to read, feel free to ask me about things at work. Feel free to leave a comment if you want, feel free to read every day if you are so inclined. I'm sorry if I snapped on Thursday, and I'm sorry if my asking about an attractive man offended you. I can, and do look. But you saw me and hubby at the Christmas party. I adore him, and would never ever do anything to hurt him. I'm more paranoid about it being the other way round.

My secrets are my secrets. I've shared my blog, I'm sharing my secrets, please, please, help me keep them.

Hugs and love

Whisky

xxxxx

Mundanity?

Is that a word? I need to check that.

What I mean is, I feel as if recently, my posts have been sticking to just a few things. Work, milky coffee, sleep patterns, missing hubby, and more sleep.

I need to find a way to spice things up a bit! But....when I think about it, after being off work ill with my Crohn's for well over two years, it's still quite a novelty for me to be at work :)

I'm sat here now, the sky is bright blue, the sun is shining, and I think it's the worlds way of telling me to lighten up a bit after the last weeks happenings. Needless to say people will never be forgotten, but they wouldn't want for me to mourn endlessly either.

As I mentioned yesterday, I pick up my new car on Saturday, and it will be called Dot. Why? Well, it's due to the "Stupid Dogbot" Ford Fiesta adverts we get over here in the UK. A robotic supposedly superior dog, keeps doing really stupid things. Like jumping and biting the moon, and headbutting a gramophone. Whilst the Fiesta in the background is more intelligent than the robot, and can turn it's lights on itself, and supposedly make it's own phonecalls?

Anyway, when we went to the garage for the test drive of my new but second hand KA, all around the showroom were these Dogbot things. The best way to describe them is stickers, with a spring coming our of them, and then the dogbot on the top. Once the deal was done and we had signed for my car, I immediately asked if I could have a dogbot as well!

The salesman looked at me in a strange way (understandable), and asked me to choose which one I wanted. I showed him, and he promptly peeled it off the car it was on to put in my car ready for Saturday. Therefore, shortening the dogbot name you get Dot!

I love adverts, I adore the Tunes advert with the robin sneezing and falling off his branch, and the Lenor adverts with the little fairy sneezing. The new Budweiser advert has me in stitches everytime. The one with the rubber floors! If you haven't seen it I won't spoil it, but, watch it right to the end otherwise you'll miss the punchline!

With the terrestrial tv how it is at the moment, sometimes the adverts are better than the programmes!

Thankfully in the living room we have Virgin cable, so I can tune in to the Sci Fi channel for Heroes, and ITV2 for Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is such a dish!!

Hubby bought me the dvd of Saw 111 (3) for my birthday. I still have to work up the confidence to take it out of it's wrapper and put it in the dvd player. But I just love those films! I don't think 2 was quite as good as 1, the twists in 1 were amazing. But after hearing that people were literally throwing up in the aisles watching 3 I'm keen to see what effect it has on me. The only decision now, do I watch it while hubby is away? Or make sure it's a night he is home?

The sun is shining, it's a brand new day. Maybe things are turning round for the better in this little world of mine?

Love and hugs

Whisky

xxxxxx

A Year Older, But No Wiser & SPC Online Tools Week 1

My apologies for not blogging recently, things just seemed to hit me much harder than expected.

I slept a lot, as usual, on Friday, Saturday I was ok, due to a test drive in my soon to be new car, and having a pre birthday meal with Sis In Law, Mr Bleach and the two girls. I hadn't realised how much it had helped take my mind off things.

Sunday, my birthday, I got up after hearing the phone ring. I should have been in a jolly mood, after all it was my birthday. Hubby told me we were to expect visitors and I promptly burst into tears, crying and wailing that I didn't want to see anyone. I acted like a thirteen year old, not a thirty six year old.

An hour or so later I had calmed down, but I still didn't feel as if I wanted to see anyone, or celebrate my birthday after losing Pop. Visitors came and went in a bit of a blur. Cards and gifts received, as usual Clever Crafting Friend, and Navy Wifie have me down to a tee! A gorgeous chocolate bath set and (Holli will be soooooo jealous!), A lovely cupcake mug and coaster set, and pretty hair bobble, delivered in an adorable cupcake bag!!

We went for dinner at Mum and Dad's. I was at last allowed to drink as hubby volunteered to drive home. I only managed one glass of wine, but lots of Mum cooked food.

Home late, and then I realised, although it was Sunday here, it would soon be Monday in Australia, the day of Pop's funeral. I kept it together until I went to bed, then I had a little cry......realised that's not what Pop would want, and finally drifted off to sleep.

It's still hard to realise he isn't with us anymore. All I can do is treasure the memories, of him and Nan at my wedding. Their previous visits. The smell of Pop's rolled cigarettes that smelt so wonderful to me. And of course our trip over there three years ago at easter.

This weeks Self Portrait Challenge to me, although sticking to the rules of using online tools, is exactly how I feel right now.

It's the picture that I added to my site as soon as I created it. I used one of the tools as recommended on the site, and came up with this picture. I used a picture of me and turned it into a "Xanga cartoon character".

Looking at it now, although there is a recognisable smile there, there is still sadness in the big eyes it has given me.

It's almost as if the smile is hiding the sadness and the tears, exactly as I am right now. People at work keep asking if I am ok, I reply yes I'm fine and smile. But deep inside my heart is breaking.

So, the Tools for this weeks challenge have helped me show how my inner soul is feeling right now. After all the eyes are the view of the soul aren't they?

I pick up new car this weekend. No more ickle purple people eater for me :( It will be a bright red ka called "Dot". Right now it's the only thing that's keeping me happy.

I'll pull through like I always do, my friends have been there for me as always. They have listened to me talk and cry. They have supported me, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Normal transmission will resume shortly.

The smile will soon be back I promise.

For now

Hugs and love

Whisky

xxxxx

I loved You, I Will Always Love You.....and Will Never Forget

Wednesday morning I set off as usual for work. It was busy.

Came home, had just sat down and drank my milky coffee and the door bell rang.

I answered the door to my Mum. I was confused. I knew she was coming round On Thursday while I was at work to "HELP" with the housework. Although how I can now call it help seing as I am not in the house I don't know. Anyway, I wondered if she had decided to do it at six o clock on Wednesday evening.

I said hello, Mum put her handbag down, got out her cigarettes and sat on the sofa. She said she had some news. She hadn't wanted to tell me over the phone, nor had she wanted me to be alone seeing as hubby was away.

My heart sank, and I knew instantly what it was. My dearest Pop, my Grandad in Austrailia had passed away. Instant tears, instant "no's" it can't be true.

He slipped away in his sleep, with his daughter with him. No pain, no distress, simply drifting into another form of sleep to be with Nan.

We talked about sending flowers, I wanted to send something that would mean something to both Pop, and hubby and I. My first question, would a florist be able to do a flower arrangement in the shape of a Tasmanian Devil, as Pop was born in Tasmanai? No.

Then it hit me. Pop adored our local football club. Even though he lived thousands of miles away, when he visited us on numerous occasions he had "adopted" our city's football team as his own. So, culd the flowers be in their colours? Mum had already said that was what she was sending....so I went for their other colour. The complete "team" will be there at his final resting place.

The wording on the cards? Mum was going for a reference to the football team, so I went for the "secret" we shared when we were in Australia three years ago.

When we went we took presents for everyone. Mainly relating to our home town. But for Pop we chose a silver engraved hip flask. He wasn't supposed to drink, but we knew he loved a tipple of whisky, just like me!

So, when we were taken to see him, we gave him his present, but didn't let on it had been filled with the contents of a half bottle of whisky ;)

Each time we went to see him we took him another "tott" to fill it up. I knew it was naughty, and that my aunt wouldn't approve, but it made him smile and laugh at our secret.

My Aunt and her husband held a family barbeque for us at Easter. Lots of people for us to meet who welcomed us into their fold. Pop was brought to the party by my cousin. He promptly called hubby over, slipped him the flask and asked him to fill it up. Hubby completed the mission. Pop slipped it into his inside pocket and gave us a wink.

Only once during the night did he ask hubby and I to slip him a beer and a whisky. ANother secret kept.

So.....the wording on the card simply had to be, "Have a tott of whisky on us, all our love, insert names here".

He would know what it meant, and is probably in the higher place now trying to sneak a drop of whisky without Nan seeing him!

Mum left, I had deliberately not cried much. I didn't want to upset her. As soon as she was gone I cracked. I texted hubby twice, needing to speak to him, needing to hear his voice. An hour later he rang me, and I was literally incoherant.

He reminded me of our visit. The memories we would have of Pop healthy and happy.

I reminded him of saying goodbye to Pop on our last day, on our way to the airport. Pop and I had sobbed, even hubby cried. I think we all knew it was our last goodbye. I will treasure that goodbye, the hug, the words of comfort forever.

The last couple of days have been hard. I went to work in pices, Boss and SUpervisor S wanted to send me home. I needed to be immersed in work.

Hubby will be home soon, and no doubt as soon as I see him the tears will flow again. But the memories will be happy ones.

Test drive tomorrow, birthday on Sunday and dinner with Mum and Dad.

Another week gone, but one I will never forget.

I love you Pop and I always will, say hello to Nan for me.

Hugs

Whisky

xxxxxx